exploring my mind and spreading the light through blogging

Category: My Writings

South America 2018

South America 2018

My Beloved South America how much I’m going to miss you. What an Amazing place, full of wonder, full of history and full of amazing people, from the highlands of Colombia and Peru all the way down To the Flats of Uruguay. The more I travel, the more I realize that the world is not as violent, wicked, and chaotic as the television makes it out to be. I’ve encountered good people doing great things in all countries. I think this is in part because I chose to believe in the goodness of the world. If you think and believe that there is good out there then the Universe maneuvers to materialize this. The law of attractions affirms that what we put into the Universe comes back to us so we have to believe there is good in the world, we have to trust people, sometimes even strangers.

In Colombia my friends and I got stranded in the middle of the Mountains about 2 hours outside of Medellin, in unpaved dirt roads, after a rainy night. Not the best place to get stuck with a car and ours had a cracked radiator 🤦🏻‍♂️. In a difficult situation we chose to put our trust and faith in people and these people responded. We found a small town near by and met a wonderful old lady who took us to the house of the only Mechanic in town, a young man but experienced enough at 25 to take apart out car and fix our problem. He worked tirelessly on our car for almost 6 hours until he fixed the car, allowing us to get to the airport just in time to catch my flight to my next destination. We had no idea what this was going to cost us, we never discusses payment until the last minute of our whole ordel. We took about $400 dollars, and my friends i-phone and my go pro just in case we needed to use them as collateral. When we asked him how much, he only wanted about $30 USD. We payed him $100 which was much less than we had anticipated and thanked him tirelessly for his help. This guy was truly god-sent.

From Colombia I Traveled to Florianopolis, Brazil, a place where I used to go on vacation as a young child. I had wonderful memories of this place which all rushed back to the forefront of my brain once i stepped foot in this hilly beach town. I got to surf in the sun and also in the rain with the help of my teacher and friend, Matias, who helped me realize that the essence of surf is found in the relationship between man and nature. We met with some old friend’s of my parents whom i had not seen since i was 8 years old, Joaquin, the gorgeous Daniela and their amazing mother. It was good to re-connect with old faces and to see them doing so well. I’m in love with Brazil, with its natural beauty, with its samba and with the joy of its beautiful people.

After Brazil we drove in car down to Punta del Este, Uruguay, my little beautiful corner of the world, and then to the Capital Montevideo. I got a chance to reconnect with my family, to share experience and to spend time with them. It’s hard to live so far away from those you love so dearly and i’m thankful for this trip which allowed me to get a much needed dose of family love. I am blessed to have such a wonderful group of people whom I call family. From old friends, to my aunts and uncles, my amazing cousins who went the distance to make me feel welcome, my diamond of a sister and my mom and dad. I even got a chance to visit the cemeteries where my grandparents and grandma are buried and pay my respects. I think that rather than diminish, the love I share with my family is multiplied and strengthened by the distance between us.

Lastly, to culminate my trip, I traveled to Cusco, Peru, the navel of the world and heart of the Incan Empire. There we traveled along the famous Inca Trail, from Cusco to Machu Picchu, one of the new 7 wonders of the world. It was a great pleasure to travel alongside a group of close friends whom are family to me, and most of all my dad, who turned 57 the day before we began our journey. It was a remarkable experience, made better by the fact that i got to live it with such an amazing group of people, sharing morning suns, words, laughter, struggle and sweat, tears, and moonlit nights. The “Pumas” as our group was called, will always have a special place in my heart and memory. I’m so proud of my dad for finishing the trip, which was not easy for the youngsters, and he pulled through even though he had some knee issues to deal with. You are strong like a puma pops💪 .

What a remarkable experience to walk along the same paths that the ancient quechua people used to walk hundreds of years ago, it truly felt like sacred ground. I always had a fascination and reverence for indigenous people and for traditional ways of living. I concluded that human beings flourish better when in close relationship with the earth. The greatness of the Inca culture is found in its superb architecture, building a city where you would think no city could ever be. It’s found in its rich traditions, in the friendly temperament and inherent kindness of its people.

It was amazing, to be walking amongst the clouds, feeling as if you were in the presence of the sacred, close to the gates of heaven. You could almost feel the presence of the spirit of Pacha Mama, or Mother Earth. And the deeper you dwelled into the Mountain, the higher you went up the steep Inca steps the more you felt the majesty of life. You had to climb, one step at a time, at moments on your hands and knees, in order to earn those jaw dropping landscapes and sceneries. The higher the climb the better the view. This trip was very much like a pilgrimage for me, one that allowed me to shed my skin, letting go of the old and the negative to make room for the new and the positive. I feel as if I was re-charged by the nurturing spirit of Pacha Mama.

What I admired most about the Quechua people is their ability to believe that anything is possible; yes, even building a city in the skies. Like our guide Climaco would say to us in a constant reminder, especially when the energy of the group was low, “Si se Puede”/ “Yes we can”and it’s true. Anything is possible as long as we have the mental fortitude to see it trough. Anything is possible if we truly believe in it, then take proactive actions in that direction. I thank life, god, pacha mama, or whoever is responsible, for allowing me to partake in this unforgettable experience.

Thank you South America for giving me so much in so little time. There is no Goodbye in the Quechua language, instead they use the word ‘Tunpananchiskama’/ Until we meet again, which promises a re-encounter, a continuation and never and end.

Your eternal lover,

Juani Z

Self Mastery

Self Matery

 “El verdadero poder es dominarse a uno mismo.”

In order to truly have power and control over our lives, we have to bring the mind and the heart together. It’s very hard to try and understand the matters of the heart and even harder still to apply reason to emotions;nonetheless, it is crucial to try to figure out why we do what we do and feel what we feel. But we can’t be all reason and no emotion and we can’t be all emotion and no reason. Like in most things in life balance is key. You can’t allow your emotions to control you and at the same time you can’t attempt to control all your emotions. You can have the best and smartest brain in the world but it is useless if you don’t have heart. Likewise, you can have the biggest and kindest heart in the world but it can go to waste if you don’t know where and how to apply it. We have to find the right balance between the two. A Ladakhi Monk from Kashmir, in the Indian-Tibetan border once said “Just like the two wings of a bird must be balanced for it to fly, so one cannot attain enlightenment unless wisdom is accompanied by compassion.” It is those that can control and bring together their hearts and minds that will have true power.

Earth Godess

Earth Goddess

In you resides the same love and refuge I found in nature.All that is beautiful in this universe finds its roots at the same source and that’s where the special kind of love that you and I share and thrive in resides. I tap into this special place through your kisses, your hugs, your caressing, your touch, your embrace, through your love. You are my earth goddess, echoing your presence in all breath-taking forms of creation. All the beauty in this world is a passage to your heart and a window to your soul.

You’re my sunrises and sunsets. You were drawn by same hand which paints its majestic portraits everyday when the sun comes up and when it goes down. You’re a magnificent combination of colors, an awe inspiring experienceYou’re the beautiful foliage and tint that give a New England Fall its beauty. You’re my snowflake, my peaceful falling snow in the winter. You’re softly, gently caressing winds that sooth and refresh my face, body and soul and it’s your name I hear being whispered by the wind.

As gravity pulls the leaves down once they detach from the branches in the fall, you are my gravity, and If I fall, I will gravitate towards you. You came into my life and planted a garden in my soul. You’re my rebirth and flourishing spring and in every beautiful blossoming flower, it’s you that I see.

You are the soil where I will plant my roots allowing me to expand and grow. Just as a tree grows upwards towards the skies, drawn towards the light, you’re my light in the sky illuminating my life. You sprouted love inside my chest which blooms in my heart every time you put your beautiful brown eyes on me. A love that flourishes like a blossoming flower, unfolding its beauty unto the world.

You’re every butterfly in gracious flight, a soaring example of beauty and freedom. You’re the feeling I get when i’m relaxing at the beach. You’re a bright summer sun warming up my life.  You’re my eternal vacation and there is nowhere else i’d rather be or go.  You can make a lifeless and dead winter feel like a warm and bountiful summer. You are ocean and moon, Luna y Mar. You can make storms rise beneath my skin.

Out of the eternal sea of stars which make up the cosmos, you are the shooting star which crosses my sky, my wish come true. The same serenity I feel when I see myself reflected in calm waters, I feel when I see myself reflected in your eyes. You’re my tranquility, my peace. You’re an ocean of Romance and your waves of passion will continually and eternally crash on the shores of my soul.

You’re the air to my lungs, the breath to my life and I would be lifeless without your love. I feel you with every pump of my heart and with every inhale and exhale it’s you that I breathe. Wherever I am or go, there is always something which reminds me of you. Even without looking for you, I find and see you everywhere.  Sometimes I think I must have your face tattooed on the back of my eyelids, ingrained there forever, because no matter how paradoxical it may sound, when I close my eyes It’s you that I see.

You are where I belong and my heart is yours to keep and treasure. I can never have enough of you, I can never get too close, I always want more. What I feel for you goes beyond desire, it’s more like devotion. Devotion is the continuous flow of desire towards a goal and you are my goal and destination, my eternal devotion.

With you I feel invincible, capable of anything and I will seek you continuously because in you and our love lies this inexhaustible source of energy. Your love gives me the same driving force that has pushed all the great achievers of our species forward, the force that propels humankind to flourish. You are my destination, my beauty, my reason, my purpose, and my destiny, in this life and the next, for the rest of time. You are my karma. Our story will repeat itself, over and over for eons.

The continuation of this soul stretching, heart pounding, life enhancing love we share might be the whole purpose of the Universe, the light which illuminates the vast darkness. The force that draws me to you is incomprehensible, way beyond my narrow understanding, but very real and potent.

You’re simplicity and complexity infused in one and I understand you without knowing why or how. You’re harmonious and whole and like nature you are beautiful beyond measure. I stand in awe before you and I am eternally grateful for the nourishment you provide. Now that I found you, I could not live without you, you are my sustenance, my fuel. You’re my love, my refuge, my breath, my inspiration and muse, my everything. You are my earth, my goddess, the one I admire and am devoted to, the one I praise and your song I will always sing.

For Her

Hard Work and Creation

Great Zen Pencil Illustration to the words of American screenwriter, director, and producer, Shonda Rhimes. Best known as the creator, head writer, executive producer and showrunner of the medical drama television series Grey’s Anatomy. Shonda’s words remind us that Dreams don’t work unless you do.

 In your mind lies the birhplace of any creation process. In the dreaming, the thinking, the imagining. Like Swami Vivekananda said when talking about success, “Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life–think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, and every part of your body be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.”

But in the path towards the success that is accomplishing your dreams there will come a time when you have to put the mental visualization on the back burner, strap on your boots, and get to work. It’s important to visualize your dream, what you think you attract. The law of attraction is as real as the chair i’m sitting on, which I can see and bang my knuckles on. But this cosmic attraction won’t chase you around, it then becomes your responsibility to actively seek it. You have to work your way, day after day after day, towards your goal. Don’t fall into the trap of the wishful thinkers, who think and talk a lot about their dreams, but never inch their way towards them. And it’s not easy to take the dreams out of our heads and manifest them in our reality. Accomplishing our dreams is hard work but we must have faith and conviction and  generate the motivation necessary to carry through with them.  Our dreams can come true but only through hard, dedicated, disciplined WORK. There is no way around this, what you reap is what you sow. So don’t be discouraged, no matter how big the climb. If you don’t attempt the ascent, you’ll never know the thrill of swooshing down the other side. Like always, keep growing, in the light direction.


Shonda Rhimes on hard work


The Miraculous Migration of the Monarch Butterfly

The monarch butterfly migrates to Mexico by the thousands every year. The local people, the Mazahua, believe that the monarchs represent the spirits of their ancestors. They consciously chose to believe the monarchs are the spirit of their lost ones, and they make them so, by believing. If you believe it you make it so, at least in your own reality. And your own reality is the only one you can experience and live, your own reality is the only one that is real to you. Why not believe in such a beautiful thought? For the Mazahua, the arrival of the butterflies begins a celebration called the day of the dead. What a better way to pay respect and homage to your loved ones? They build altars for their loved ones and decorate them with gifts of the things they liked. The ceremony is beautiful and very important, we have to appreciate life, but also respect death. And perhaps what’s most important is that they truly see the monarchs as carriers of the spirit of the departed who come once a year to say hello. You can also think that they are just some insect, mindlessly following a migrational pattern that is biologically ingrained in them. It’s up to you what you chose to think. You can chose to make what you want of this reality. With your thoughts you turn objective reality into your subjective one. It was Einstein that said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” I chose to believe in miracles, in magic, in wonder, in beauty, and in love. I choose to look at the butterflies and think of my loved ones, and you know what, for that short period of time I will feel connected with them. For that brief and fleeting moment, the spirit of my loved ones will be alive, with me, in the shape of a beautiful monarch butterfly.

Mariposas viajeras y migrantes -la raza
Sadly, not all is beauty and love in this story, monarch butterfly populations have decreased at an alarming rate in the last 20 years. Why this is happening is hard to pin-point but evidence points to the high use of pesticides and fertilizers. Also, as the climate of the world continues to go awry, these delicate creatures die off in the millions, since their systems can’t handle the extreme weather changes. How sad for this world that these beautiful and amazing creatures are slowly disappearing. Sadder to think that it’s not only the butterfly that’s disappearing, how many species of flora or fauna have gone or are going extinct? The list is endless and it continues to grow every day. This brings to mind a writing by Uruguayan author Eduardo Galeano titled Los Desaparecidos(the disappeared or missing):

August 30th, The day of the Disappeared.
Disappeared: The dead without tombs, the tombs without names.
and also:
native forests,
the stars in the night of the cities,
the aroma of flowers,
the flavor of fruit,
hand-written letters,
the old cafes where there was time to lose time,
kids playing in the street,
the right to walk,
the right to breathe,
secure jobs,
secure retirements,
houses not hidden behind bars,
doors without locks,
the sense of community,
and common sense.

We cannot allow the beauty and the good in the world to go extinct. The disappearance of the Monarch butterfly would be heartbreaking, terrible and wrong. Butterflies are a beautiful marvel of creation and they also represent many wonderful things. They represent freedom. They symbolize the right that living beings have to freely move. Many humans have to migrate in order to survive just like the butterflies. The monarch butterfly begins its trip in mexico in the spring and head north into Canada. The first generation dies a month into the trip, getting about a third of the way there into the southern US. The second generation lives about another month and gets up into northern US. The third generation also lives for one month and gets all the way up into Canada. But the special fourth generation, heeds an unknown and inexplicable call, and heads back south, living about 3 months making it all the way back into Mexico. It’s a mystery how the fourth generation is able to show up at a place it has never seen before. A place the butterfly had been 4 generations ago. There is a hidden, mysterious and magical force which drives them to the place of their descendants, to a place of their dreams, were all the monarchs re-unite and come together to survive the winter. The Immigrant is like the butterfly in many ways. He takes off into the unknown, taking steps down new roads, sometimes armed with nothing more than a vision, nothing more than dreams, and with resiliency, courage, and determination they go after them.

We all have the freedom to fly with imagination, just like a butterfly. I hope they don’t join the other species who have gone extinct but our world is in turmoil, the great extinction continues, climate change continues, the situation keeps getting worse. Will we wake up in time?

“Pues la Mariposa, verdad, es símbolo de que los americanos pueden hacer una cerca lo mas alta que puedan y siempre pasa la gente, siempre pasan los pájaros, las mariposas y todo eso. Ese cerco no puede parar ideas, no puede parar el amor.”

-Rene ‘El Padrino’ Yanez, Curador

“The butterfly, really, is the symbol that America can build the biggest fence they can but people will always get through, birds will always get trough, the butterflies and all that. The fence can’t stop ideas, it can’t stop love.”

“There are dreams on this side as well” de este lado

Accion Poetica, On the Mexican side of the Mexico-US border

liberty left


Migration is Life

Monarch Migrant

Camino Interno Part 3

Camino Interno

(parte 3)

There exists no map or a GPS that can tell us which way to go. Nothing and no one can tell you what to do with you experience, only you can decide on the direction of your life. You have to out-do your struggles and fight your own battles, after all it is YOUR journey. We all have to make our own life-changing decisions and we have to face the great challenge of life ourselves. We will make mistakes and wrong decisions, it’s part of the human experience, but we must live with them, and ALWAYS learn from them. Fools are those who allow their mistakes to continually repeat themselves over and over again. If we don’t learn from out lessons we keep having them, in-prisoning ourselves in a vicious cycle until we learn our lesson and we can grow and upgrade to next level along our path. If you made mistakes and headed down the wrong path, remember that it is never too late to change the direction of your life and become who you want to be. If you find that you’re not proud of the person you have become and the life you are living then change the course of your life. While you exist you are allowed to start over as many times as you want. Moving forward along your path you will face new and different obstacles and it is you who must face them. You have to struggle and wrestle with them until you finally overcome them.

All I can give you as a word of advice is to listen to the whispers of your heart and trust your instinct, your own inner voice. No matter how faint and dim, our inner-voice is always there, we just have to quiet down the noise of the mind and pay attention to it. When the mind is quiet you can hear your inner thoughts, your conscience, which guides us faithfully. We have inside us the faith that all gods provide.

God lives within us all. I’m sorry to break it to you, but god is not overlooking life from a castle in the clouds. God is here on earth and he lives within us all. This makes us all special and unique beings, we have inside us all the marvels and wonders of the universe. We have to accept our own magnificence and make our lives reflect this primordial truth. The light lies within each and every one of us all we have to do is find it, cherish it, and share it, reflecting light unto others.

Admire the greatness in others and know that you too can be great. You have a powerful thinking brain capable of anything, limited only by the power of your imagination. You have the resilient spirit of a warrior inside you. Be strong, be smart, and don’t be afraid. We might not have complete and total control over our lives, shit happens, i’m not ignoring that. There are things that will happen to us which are out of our control, but it is within us to chose how we react to every situation that life throws at us. In this way, we do have some say in the happenings of our lives. We have to control what we can and not allow the of immensity of life to overwhelm us. No task is beyond us. Like the Yakut teaching,

“When the blizzard lashes the taiga, only a fool tries to face it and struggle with its power. But only a fool abandons himself to it and lets it blow him where it will. The wise man leans against it and lets it push him slowly, slowly, so he can pick his path and find his way to safety.”

We have to adapt this saying to our lives and slowly and consciously direct our lives through this crazy freak storm we call life. Listen to yourself, connect with you conscience and look for the wisdom to make the right decisions. Whatever decision you make, wherever you go, make sure you go with all of your heart. Be grateful for each day, put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Trust Your Instincts and Follow Your Heart, whatever that means to you. Like always, keep growing, in the Light Direction.

The last of the Human Freedoms

have heart

Find your truth


Camino Interno

(part 2)

“Espero que los puentes que queme iluminen tu camino”


We have to be bold because our life is our message to the world. We must keep driving forward into uncharted territories. We have to dive into the unknown head on and with high spirits and continue forward on our journey of growth. At times we will slip, and we might even fall, but even when the news are not what we hoped for or expected, we have to pick ourselves up, put one foot in front of the other, and keep moving forward. We generate the light needed to illuminates the darkness. We must have courage and heart and allow the light within us to light our way. We have to remember that the paths we chose to burn along the way ignite like giant bonfires. So let them burn and allow the light they emit to illuminate the way for others, helping them to maneuver through their own unique paths. Our life is our message to the whole world. I hope you take advantage of it.


Tenemos que ser audaces por que nuestra vida es nuestro mensaje al mundo. Debemos seguir adelantándonos hacia territorios inexplorados. Debemos lanzarnos hacia lo desconocido con optimismo y fuerza, continuando en nuestro viaje de crecimiento. Van a haber momentos en que vamos ha pisar mal y nos vamos a resbalar, y veces que nos vamos a caer. Nunca tenemos que rendirnos por que rendirnos es resignarnos a seguir viviendo. Aunque las noticias no sean las que esperábamos tenemos que levantarnos si nos caemos, poner un pie frente al otro y seguir hacia adelante. Debemos tener coraje y corazón y dejar que nuestra luz interna nos ilumine el camino. Nosotros generamos la luz que ilumina la oscuridad. Al pasar de etapa a etapa por la vida, al cruzar nuestros puentes, marcamos nuestros caminos y los encendemos como una gran fogata. Deja que quemen y la luz que otorga le iluminara el camino a otros para ayudarlos a maniobrar por su propio y extraordinario viaje. Nuestra vida es un mensaje a todo el mundo. Espero que lo aproveches.

“Tu vida es tu mensaje al mundo. Asegurate de que sea inspirador.